7 Relationship lessons I learned from watching romcoms.

It’s that time of the year again – red heart shapes balloons are everywhere, red roses, red dresses. It’s time to get romantic and sentimental and listen to sticky love songs. But most of all what says Valentine’s day to me is romcoms. Anybody who knows me knows I am a HUGE romcom addict (and romantic dramas too). I think there isn’t one, made in recent history that I a missed. I probably can quote complete dialogs from my favorite movies.
My best friend and I have watched all these movies together over and over again, and we once agreed that these movies contain so many relationship lessons, someone should write a book about it, so I am writing a post instead:)

You Complete Me – Jerry Maguire

I find this line to be the most accurate definition of what a good relationship should be. Often people mistake it for the old myth of opposites attract. Technically if you look at my husband and me you would think I actually went that route and married my absolute opposite. A surfer guy (to my “not a fan of water”). An outdoorsy camping loving guy (to my “We can maybe do glamping”). An introvert (to my “haven’t met a person I didn’t want to talk to”) A computerphobe (to my “glued to my laptop”). All that is true, however, what you don’t see straight away is that we actually complete each other in little ways. These little parts of us that like pieces of a puzzle, come together and make us whole. It makes each of us better when we are together than when we are alone. It’s that kooky mix of differences in our characters that actually make us work as a unit, it makes us work even better as parents and as a family.

You need to realize you’re only as awesome as you think you are.” – The Duff

Ok, So I may or may not have a slight obsession with teen movies, starting way back when at the late ’80s, (16 candles Y’all watch it!) but this line from The Duff is worth watching the whole thing (plus it’s a super fun movie). This is an evergreen life lesson, and it’s true in all aspects of life, whether it’s dating or your career. Believe in yourself, be your own best cheerleader. Remember that your worth is not related to other people, nor to whether you are in a relationship, or if you are working in your dream job. know that you are awesome and the world will know it too.

 All this time I’ve been saying that he didn’t want to get married. But the truth is he didn’t want to marry me. He didn’t love me. – When Harry met Sally

Ah. This movie is filled with so much life and relationship wisdom it’s practically a How to guide:) My girlfriends and I quoted this line at each other time and again after various heartbreaks during our 20’s. There was the time my one of my friend’s ex moved in with his new girlfriend 5 months after meeting her – while for the year and a half he spent with my friend, he was not ready to take on a big commitment like that. Or the time another friend’s ex freaked out days after my friend moved in with him, broke up with her (leaving her apartmentless) only to meet someone new a couple of months later and have a baby with her by the end of the same year. Yep, there is a painful lesson to be learned here, ladies, and that lesson is embodied perfectly in the next quote.

If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, then he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. – He’s just not that into you

This whole movie was literally our bible when we were all frantically dating, looking for THE ONE. All these excuses we use to make for crappy emotionally absent guys when it’s really that simple. Or like another line in that same movie goes :
If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what. Trust me when I say, it’s so true, and it true for us ladies too. When two people meet and want to be together it’s usually the easiest thing in the world. It just flows, no games, no complications, no excuses. If it’s not and if it’s drama and “issues” than maybe your just not that into each other.romcoms relationship lessons

I want you to want to do the dishes – The breakup

This is the relationship roadblock most couples will run into at some point (or let’s be honest – points). In this scene Brook is asking Gary to help her do the dishes after a dinner party, he refuses and when she asks again he says “Fine I’ll help you do the damn dishes” and she says “No that’s not what I want” and when he is stumped she says “I wanted you to want to do the dishes”. Then he says she is acting crazy:) I love that scene so much because, for me, it basically sums up almost every big fight I had with my partner. Expecting him to know that something is important to me without me actually saying it. Expecting him to feel the same way regarding things I feel deeply about, and when he doesn’t and I get upset about it, He doesn’t understand what he did wrong. ( I refer you to the lemon scene in the same movie. It’s brilliant). Almost 12 years of marriage and I can tell you, I still find myself having this type of “conversations” with my guy.

I want the fairytale – Pretty woman

Don’t we all? isn’t fun to sit and watch these movies, see the epic romance and dream of the perfect guy that will come in and sweep us off our feet? nothing wrong with wanting it all. Nothing wrong with wanting the butterflies in your stomach, just as long as you remember that there is a reason the last part in most of the fairytale is of the handsome prince proposing to the lovely princess, they don’t go on into their married/living together life. Falling in love is a beautiful fairytale, it also just the Prolog to the actual love story. The real plot begins after, when you create your life together, which is a good segway to the next quote.

So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you. Forever. – The Notebook

If ever there was a male character in a movie that made me weak at the knees it’s Noah from The Notebook. That whole movie is epic and super romantic, but this is the line in it that is most real to me. A relationship or marriage is not easy. It’s not always butterflies and fairytale, it’s hard work! and sometimes you really don’t feel like working anymore. But then you have to look at the person next to you and remember that there is a reason he is right there fighting with you and that you did want forever together, and forever? well, that takes some sweat and sometimes tears to get:)

These are the romcoms I am probably going to rewatch in the next few days. Do you have favorite quotes from romcom? I always on the lookout for a new one to watch. Wishing you a very happy loved-filled Valentines day.
If you want to read about more relationship lessons I learned try this post. If you looking for romantic quotes for Valentine’s day try this.



19 thoughts on “7 Relationship lessons I learned from watching romcoms.

  1. I thought I’d seen a lot of rom coms but after reading this I’ve realised how many I haven’t watched! Definitely need to add Jerry Maguire and When Harry Met Sally to my watch list!

    Jess //

  2. Ahh, romcoms are the best kind of movie in my opinion! I agree! There is a lot you can take away from them. I’ve seen most of these films. I’m definitely going to have a romcom movie marathon this Valentines Day though!!

    1. I’m in the midst of it, although I watched A star is born this week and it kinda threw me, made me sad:( thank you so much for reading and commenting.

  3. I love rom coms, but have actually only seen The Notebook from this list! I really need to watch some more, they always have such great messages on love and life. I love the quote: “You need to realize you’re only as awesome as you think you are”. It sounds like The Duff is a fabulous film, I’ll have to watch it, especially if it is like 16 Candles, that is such a cool film 🙂 Thank you for the recommendations Madi, I am planning to have a girly movie night on Valentines Day with my sister and these sound like fantastic ideas! <3 xx

    Bexa |

    1. My pleasure – I’m so excited for you, you have to try He’s just not that into you – too. It is SUCH a fun movie – my BFF and me are planning on watching it on Thursday again Too:) – The Duff is great too ofc ourse:)

    1. That’s a fantastic romcom too! Haven’t watched it in ages. I just might look it up again this weekend:) thanks for reading and commenting.

  4. Where is the frickin “love” button for this post?! lol Every single movie was spot on and every point made and learned from said movie was accurate. I totes agree He Just Not That Into You is bible lol it was such a blunt and truthful movie. I love your selection and you’re totes making me feel like having such a binge worthy movie sess tomorrow and this weekend! I hope you and your husband have a wonderful VDay weekend! 😀

    xx Lena |

    1. Thank you so much:) your comment put a big smile on my face this morning so I know my day will be great! Thanks for reading and have a lovely V day too.

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