Maya Angelou wrote “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
Sometimes I find myself wondering about what life lessons I am teaching my children. I would like to think that years from now, looking back look at some of the positive things in their life, smile and say, “My parents taught me that.”
Two years ago we were drowning in the logistics of day to day life. On the surface all was good. We were living in a beautiful big house, we had good jobs, the kids were healthy and well. But looking closely – I became a virtual hermit, conserving what little energy I had for my family, drifting away from my friends.
My outdoorsy husband developed back pains and suddenly couldn’t find the time or the will to do things he loved like surfing and cycling. The kids were good, but despite having a huge backyard, they spent most of their time indoors in front of screens which drove me crazy. All these things we thought were important turned out not to be right for us.
Fast forward to 2 years later, and this Saturday morning, I was sitting outside, the winter sun was warm and bright, drawing us all out, the kids were playing around, I was reading, My guy was playing his guitar, I raised my head and realized how peaceful we all were. I was breathing freely, enjoying that moment of being still. And I couldn’t help thinking – how different things are now.
“I’ve been afraid of changin’ ’cause I’ve built my life around you” –sings Steve Nicks (Fleetwood Mac) and it’s true, we build our lives around constants and it’s hard to break away from them even when they feel wrong.
But what happens if the route we started following early on, suddenly feels like a dead end?
Sometimes we hold on to all that is anchoring us. Sometimes that anchor is keeping us safe but also preventing us from progressing and moving forward. It’s not easy especially in later stages in life to admit that we don’t have all the answers. It is scary to lose the certainty in our path. The thing is – you need to find the positive in the unknown. Look at it as a chance to create something new and beautiful, to find a better, though a different, version of the life plan you thought you had.
I hope my kids will grow up to trust their instincts. I hope they will be brave and choose a different path if the one they’re on doesn’t feel right anymore. Change can be a blessing whether it’s changing something you don’t like or changing an attitude.
Is there one thing you want to change in your life big or small? is something keeping you from that change? would love to hear your thoughts on it.
You can read more about my journey HERE