Do you have the right mindset? That is a question I heard a lot when I was starting the transition from being a “stay at home mom” to a “mompreneur”.
I kept running into that word over and over again – Mindset. I was so off center after years of having tunnel vision and seeing only my kids and their needs, that I wasn’t even sure what the meaning behind the word was, let alone what sort of mindset I was supposed to have while creating my business.
Prior to becoming a mother, I always worked at a steady job where I got a nice tidy paycheck. I never had to “market” myself, I never had to create and generate an income from scratch. Starting out on this new adventure, I had many fears. I did not come from a “money” background. I grew up with hard-working parents who worked at steady jobs to take care of our family needs. I was always grateful for their hard work and all they provided for us through it, but I never really stopped to think about what that meant for me and how it impacted the way I behaved and thought of money.
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As I was getting ready to start my business, I was taking a marketing masterclass and working with a coach as part of it. In one of our early calls, he asked me a simple question – what is your money goal?
Right away I started squirming in my seat, I was SO uncomfortable. Different thoughts were running through my mind, different numbers. Instinctively I thought of bigger numbers but vocally I answered with a much lower number. And that’s when we recognized I had a mindset issue, or more correctly – I did not have the money-making mindset.
I wanted to start my business. I wanted to do well. The problem was I had a disconnect between the wanting and the BELIEVING I deserved it. Despite signing up for the class so I could improve my marketing skills, much of my “homework” and the coaching sessions revolved around getting me in the right mindset for success, without it all the rest of the amazing skills and tools I was accumulating wouldn’t do me any good. What I learned and implemented about the success mindset is summed up in these next 4 steps.
Know your patterns – The good the bad and the ugly.
Much of having the right mindset for success is about sifting through our patterns, recognizing the good and utilizing it and recognizing the bad ones and sidestepping them. For example, I am a timely person. Being late gives me hives. I do great with schedules and deadlines which is a great tool for me when it comes to structuring my work day. My bad pattern is cringing whenever I have to say something good about myself. Also, and this one is big, I find it really hard to ask for money and tended to lowball myself! The first time I had to put a price tag on a service I was offering, I was physically uncomfortable. That was a major roadblock I had to get through.
But by recognizing it, I taught myself how to overcome it. I did it by practicing A LOT. I knew it was my problem area and I just practiced and faked it until I made it – literally. Which is tied pretty tightly with the next step.
Identify your “Money Blueprint”.
The “Money Blueprint” is an expression I came across in a book That had a huge impact on me as a mompreneur – “The secrets of the Millionaire Mind” by T. Harv Eker.
I usually have zero tolerance for this type of books (let’s face it, in my free time I’d rather be reading a romance novel) but this book gave me so many of what Oprah called Aha Moments, I just couldn’t put it down. It made many things clear to me while reading, I couldn’t shut up about it. Our money blueprint is basically what created our approach to money and wealth – our background, our childhood, expressions we heard over and over referring to money (doesn’t grow on trees/ save it for a rainy day/ filthy rich etc.) What the “money dynamics” in our family was – sole provider? Both parents working? Who handled the bills? And so on. One exercise in book asked us, readers, to try and recall a specific moment in our childhood relating to money – A conversation with a parent/ or between our parents/ An experience we had- something that stuck with us even if we weren’t aware of it.
When I thought about it took me exactly a second to come up with a crystal-clear memory of a conversation I heard between my parents. It took me a moment to understand how much of an impact it had. It gave me a lot of food for thoughts and things to reflect on. After identifying the problem in my money blueprint, I had to “override” and fix it. The book offers exercises to do so we can “reprogram” our blueprint. I can’t recommend this book enough, read it, utilize it, and grow because like stated in the book – “Your income can grow only to the extent that you do.”
Be open to receiving abundance.
It sounds really simple, We all want wealth and success, don’t we? You would think so. But another light bulb moment came to me when I attended a webinar by one of my favorite speakers, David Sharpe. The webinar was about getting the confidence to create the clientele and success that we want. He asked a simple question – “How do you react when someone compliments you? How do you react when someone gives you a gift? Do you smile and say thank you or do you start feeling uncomfortable, try to negate the compliment or say something like “you shouldn’t have” to the person handing you the gift? THAT was me. Exactly. I hated when people complimented me on anything and everything – something as silly as someone telling me the cake I made was great would have me say something like “It so simple to make, anyone can do it”. It was an eye- opener for me. I had to let myself believe I deserve compliments. That I was open to receive the good the things coming my way. Abundance was not something I needed to shy away from it, and neither should you.
Let go of the “Are we there yet” approach.
It might be a cliché’ but it’s a right one, life is a journey, not a destination. Success doesn’t happen overnight, but you are on your way and it will come. “Play the long game” – that’s another expression I learned in from David Sharpe, and that is one I had to truly internalize. Giving up is easy, especially when life pulls you in many different directions. With me being a mom, getting so little free time for myself, not giving up was a daily struggle. Starting out, I had to put almost all of what little free time I got, into my business. Even now, I am writing this and it’s almost 1 am. I should be sleeping right? But this is the time I have and since I LOVE what I do it doesn’t feel like work. It’s hard at first, especially when the numbers are not in your favor yet. You just want to vegetate on the sofa with a glass of wine after the kids are FINALLY asleep. That “magic” hour when you have some peace and quiet. Believe me, I have been there many many times before. But I think of it like the gardening I enjoy doing. I love the planning of a new green patch, the puttering in the dirt. Sharing it all with my kids is something I enjoy. Sure, it makes me happy when the flowers bloom or when we get fruits and vegetables out of it, but I enjoy the “growing” part. Same with my business. Same with yours.
Take the time out of your busy schedule, let yourself think about these steps, think of where it corollate to your life and business.let yourself get in the mindset for success and let yourself have it. It is yours to own.
If you want to learn more about the masterclass I mentioned, and the team that coached me and helped me launch my business – click here.
If you want to read the “secret of the millionaire mindset – click here.
If you want to read more about my road to starting my online business – read this.
As always – I would love to hear from you.